Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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