I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Randomize
