Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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