I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
