Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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