Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
