I'm laying in your front yard are you home
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When did angry sex become our thing?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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