I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
