people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Houston, we have a squirter
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
