we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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