Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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