Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
