You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
