We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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