We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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