"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize