Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We left the knife in your bed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
