I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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