first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
