Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
