And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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