just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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