I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize