If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
