Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
