She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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