I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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