Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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