my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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