Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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