Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
