Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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