mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
