so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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