Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
