maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
