i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
