If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
