marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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