So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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