Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
