My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
