He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
