i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
