we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
