my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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