im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
