This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
