His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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