Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
