drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
