Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
