Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
