brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
