Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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