You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize