Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
