The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
