found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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