Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
