After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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