Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
