my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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