eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
