halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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