I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
