I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
