Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
