I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
