is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
