At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
